A Reddit user turned to the community to ask if they were in the wrong for wanting to leave their boyfriend’s birthday party early after they had a disagreement.
A Celebration Was Planned
The Original Poster (OP), a 23-year-old woman, recently organized a birthday party for her 21-year-old boyfriend.
She spent three months planning the event, which was held at their shared residence and attended by both their mutual friends and some of the boyfriend’s hometown acquaintances.
However, during the party, OP felt the need to leave early and is now wondering if she was in the wrong for wanting to do so.
He Belittled the Women There
The party started off well, they were all playing a drinking game.
However, during a round where everyone shared stories, OP noticed that Adam, a mutual friend, was listening to the stories shared by the male participants but repeatedly cutting off and belittling the stories told by the female participants.
She Became Angry
Adam was known to have a confrontational attitude when he was drunk.
OP let his behavior slide twice, but on the third occasion, she’d had enough.
She Asked If Her BF Could Help
OP messaged her boyfriend about how she felt about Adam’s behavior and asked if he could intervene so they could continue enjoying the evening.
He Did Nothing About It
However, her boyfriend told her to just continue playing the game, even though Adam continued to interrupt her.
Eventually, the group decided to leave and go to a club. The girls traveled in one car, while the boys traveled in another.
The Night Continues
The group arrived at the club and queued up outside. While everyone was able to enter without any issues, OP’s boyfriend was told to queue again.
He Became Defensive
Seeing that they were alone, OP took the opportunity to speak to him about Adam.
Her boyfriend became defensive and responded saying she wasn’t important to anyone in the room, and that she was ruining his night and making him feel bad for having fun.
She Wanted to Leave the Party Early
OP was taken aback by his response and decided to leave the club, telling him that she would go home since she was ruining the night that she had spent so much time organizing.
Her boyfriend only replied with a dismissive “ok see you later.”
He Was Unconcerned for Her Safety
The club where they went was a dangerous place, and OP’s boyfriend seemed unconcerned about leaving her stranded and in danger as he went back into the club to look for his friends.
They Urged Her to Stay
When OP messaged the girls to let them know she was going home, they urged her not to let her boyfriend ruin the night that she had worked so hard to plan.
They Kept Their Distance
After having a small mental breakdown in the club’s toilets, OP emerged to find a group of mutual friends who came to dance with her.
She made sure to keep her distance from her boyfriend, who mostly ignored her and gave her dirty looks whenever they crossed paths.
Feeling Hurt and Underappreciated
OP felt hurt and underappreciated by her boyfriend’s behavior and wondered if she was in the wrong for feeling this way or if she should have kept her feelings to herself and pretended to enjoy the night.
She later added that she is autistic, and confrontations make her anxious, which is why she didn’t confront Adam about his behavior.
Reddit Users Weigh In
The majority of Reddit users who commented on the post agree that OP is not a jerk. Many believe that the boyfriend’s behavior was unacceptable, and he should have addressed Adam’s misogynistic behavior.
Several users also suggested that OP should dump her boyfriend, as he made it clear that he did not value her or her feelings.
Some users added that the boyfriend’s behavior was a sign of his immaturity and selfishness and that OP deserved someone who respects and appreciates her.
They Agreed With OP
Some users expressed concern about OP’s safety and noted that the club they went to was not safe, and the boyfriend was willing to leave her stranded and in danger.
Several users also mentioned that Adam’s behavior was rude and disrespectful towards women, and the boyfriend’s lack of action made him complicit in Adam’s behavior.
What Do You Think?
What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?
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The post After Calling Out Her Friend’s Misogynistic Behavior, She Was Accused of Ruining Her Boyfriend’s 21st Birthday Party. But Who’s Really the Jerk in This Scenario? first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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