In a recent Reddit post, a person shared her struggles with her boyfriend’s family’s racist behavior and their attempts to set him up with a woman of the same ethnicity. Here’s the full story.
They Have Been Dating for Six Years
The Original Poster (OP), aged 27, and her 26-year-old boyfriend have been dating for more than six years.
She’s Black, He’s Asian
OP is Black, and her boyfriend is Asian. They have been building a life together.
They’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs, but OP believes they have finally reached a stage where they are mature enough to love each other completely.
Her Boyfriend’s Family Is Abusive and Racist
OP said that her boyfriend’s mother, grandmother, and other family members are abusive, and there has been a lot of trauma.
And her boyfriend recently revealed that he’s worried about upsetting his family with the relationship.
Dating Non-Asians Seems to Be an Act of Rebellion
OP says she’s aware that many Asian men date non-Asians as a form of rebellion before finding an Asian woman to please their mother.
Plus, OP says she’s often left alone on holidays while her boyfriend goes to his family’s home for celebrations, but they never invite her. They have been known to make racist comments about her too.
An Unexpected Incident
Things took a turn when she found out that her boyfriend’s mother and grandma tried to arrange a meeting between him and a Vietnamese woman who is a family friend.
OP’s boyfriend says that despite his repeated attempts to get his family to stop and respect his relationship, his messages always fall on deaf ears.
He Can’t Choose Between Her and His Family
He claims he can’t choose between her and his family because they are both so important to him.
Upsetting Family Dynamics
He says that he stands up for OP and gets upset with them, but he still hangs out with the family as if everything is fine.
She Is Worried
OP says she’s beginning to understand that maybe she was never the top priority for him. And now OP is unsure of what to do.
She says he claims he loves her just as much as she does him. But his mother has been putting ideas into his brain and questioning whether OP is what he deems his “dream girl.”
His mother has told him that OP doesn’t do the dishes or prepare meals for him.
The Family Always Criticize Her
Her boyfriend’s family always criticizes OP’s appearance and laziness. OP says she had gained some weight as a result of her boyfriend always buying junk food.
She Tried Everything but Failed
She says she’s trying her best to lose some weight, improve herself and change her boyfriend’s family’s mind, but it’s of no use.
Her Boyfriend Tried to Reassure Her
OP was hurt and worried about the situation even though her boyfriend assured her that he wouldn’t meet with the other girl and that he loves OP.
He’s Already Chosen His Family
OP shared the story on Reddit, asking for advice as she doesn’t know what to do. Hundreds of Redditors shared their thoughts and gave advice to OP.
What Are You Waiting For?
A Reddit user wrote, “I don’t see how this works out well for you. He’s made it clear he’s not going to turn away from his family, and they’ve made it clear you are not acceptable. What are you waiting for?”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / DavideAngelini. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.