A Reddit user asked fellow users if he was in the wrong for trashing the gift he got from his girlfriend for his birthday.
Asking for Advice
After trashing the gift, the Original Poster (OP) sought advice on whether he was in the wrong.
A Long Term Relationship
OP (28M) and his girlfriend (30F) have been in a relationship for 8 years and have been living together for the last 4 years. The girlfriend has a penchant for the arts and is always immersed in personal projects.
However, she has a tendency to become absorbed in her own world.
He Received a Gift He Wasn’t Expecting
OP recently celebrated his birthday with his girlfriend, she gave him a pencil lengthener as a gift.
Despite not being a fan of pencils or coloring, the gift was specifically designed for colored pencils and not the typical No.2 variety.
When asked about the gift, OP said he had disposed of it in the trash outside their home, much to his girlfriend’s disappointment.
She felt hurt and called him out for not at least giving it a try.
She is a Bad Gift-Giver!
OP has been noticing a pattern since he started living with his girlfriend. She has a habit of gifting him things that she likes and ultimately ends up using them herself.
For instance, last year she gave him a packet of Sailor Moon stickers, which he had no interest in, and she ended up using them all.
Another Frustrating Surprise
On another occasion, she gifted him a jewelry box, despite him not wearing jewelry, and now she has been using it herself.
OP acknowledges that these are first-world problems, but the pattern is still frustrating to him.
She Got Upset and Told on Him
OP’s girlfriend is still upset with him for throwing away the gift and has even gotten both sets of parents involved to scold him for his actions.
OP’s girlfriend admitted to knowing that he would not like the gift, and had planned on using it herself once he had “calmed down” in a few days.
Despite this, OP is still being called names and wonders if he is really the one in the wrong.
Reddit Community Comments
Commenters have been suggesting that OP and his girlfriend need to have a conversation about the recurring issue of unsuitable gifts.
However, OP reveals that they have already talked about it on multiple occasions.
His girlfriend has admitted to giving him gifts that she wants for herself, as a way of saying that she tried.
OP even attempted to provide a solution by offering to give her a wish list, but she declined and didn’t even look at the one he made and sent to her.
Meanwhile, she does have a wish list, and OP has purchased expensive items from it in the past.
Taking Control of Gift Giving
A majority of comments suggested that OP just start buying things that he wants for her birthday and that’s how they can handle this moving forward.
Reddit users said that if this wasn’t a dealbreaker for OP, then this could be a way of handling the bad gifts from his girlfriend.
One commenter suggests that OP should buy his girlfriend gifts that he likes but she will hate, as she admits to doing the same to him.
Alternatively, the commenter suggests that they stop exchanging gifts altogether or reconsider the relationship due to the girlfriend’s selfish and emotionally hurtful behavior.
Parents’ Involvement Criticized
The Reddit user criticizes the girlfriend for involving both sets of parents in their disagreement and accusing her of being emotionally abusive.
However, the commenter expresses doubt that giving her a taste of her own medicine will make her more considerate towards OP.
Some comments went as far as saying OP should break up with their GF and find someone else.
One commenter suggests that OP should consider finding a new girlfriend for his birthday due to her behavior of gifting him things that she wants and intends to use later.
Another Idea of How to Move Forward
They argue that this shows she doesn’t care about OP and is using his birthday to make it about herself.
Additionally, they point out that she was planning to take the gift back even if OP ended up liking it, which would have caused further conflict.
The commenter references the girlfriend’s admission that she knew OP would not like the gift and that he would be upset about it.
What Would You Do?
What do you think? Should OP get himself his own gifts for her birthday? What would you do?
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The post His Girlfriend Is a Serial Bad-Gift-Giver, Even Going So Far as Indirectly Buying Gifts for Herself. Should She Really Be Surprised if the Gifts Get Tossed? first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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