A young mother recently posted on Reddit looking for advice. She wanted to know if she was wrong for telling her daughter the truth about the dad who walked out on them. This is the full story.
An Unexpected Pregnancy
The original poster (OP) got pregnant in college when she was 19 years old – the same as her boyfriend. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and a child wasn’t part of the plans at that point.
She Warned Him
OP warned her boyfriend before they ever had sex that she wouldn’t have an abortion if she ended up pregnant.
He told her he understood, and the two got closer in every way.
A Deadbeat Boyfriend
Then, when OP did get pregnant, she was surprised that the baby’s father not only didn’t want anything to do with the baby, but he refused further contact with OP.
He went even further by telling their friends and his family that she had planned to get pregnant in order to trap him!
She and Her Daughter Moved On
OP had her baby daughter and lost contact with the boyfriend, other than the meager child support he paid.
As far as the OP was concerned, the guy was out of her and her daughter’s lives forever.
He Stalked Them on Facebook!
But then, several years later, when the OP’s daughter was 16, the ex-boyfriend contacted OP through Facebook.
He said he wanted to meet his daughter and be part of her life going forward.
He Couldn’t Have His Own Kids
OP was floored by the sudden contact and didn’t know what to do.
She started by digging through what she could find out about her ex online and soon learned that he was married. And that he and his new wife were having fertility issues.
It Wasn’t Fair
Now that she knew what the guy’s angle was, OP told him that she didn’t want him to make contact with the daughter.
After all, it was OP who gave up her chance for a college degree and who struggled financially, holding down multiple jobs while raising a young daughter on her own.
He Was Still Her Father
It wasn’t fair for the ex to waltz back in now that his life was settled.
He was her father, though, so the OP gave him some wiggle room. She asked him what kind of planning he had done to help their daughter.
He Have No Future Plans in Place
Had he started a college fund? Was he ready to buy her a car? The answer was “no” in both cases.
She Just Told the Truth
But OP loves her daughter and couldn’t just shut the door on the girl’s father completely. So she sat her daughter down and told her that the dad had reached out.
She also told her all the details about how he had abandoned them years before and just disappeared.
It Was the Kid’s Choice
In the end, OP told the daughter she would support whatever decision she made about seeing her dad.
But she emphasized again that he wasn’t a good dude, and that OP had serious reservations about their reunion.
The Girl Said No Thanks
Faced with a big decision, but armed with her mother’s take on things, the 16-year-old girl chose NOT to meet her father.
The Guy Was Livid
Needless to say, the guy was livid when OP told him, and he accused her of poisoning his daughter against him.
Grandma Wasn’t Happy
OP told her own mother about the situation later, and the older woman delivered another blow.
She thought the OP was dead wrong for the way she handled the situation, and that the OP had ruined any chance the girl and her father had of ever building a decent relationship.
The Tables Turned On Her!
Even worse, OP’s mom told her that the girl probably felt rejected all over again.
She’s Left Doubting Her Decision
Now, OP is left doubting her decision and feeling like she’s the one causing her daughter a whole new level of pain.
An Impossible Decision
Now, OP is faced with the hard decision about whether she should try to mend fences with the ex or get ready for a potential legal battle for custody or visitation. Or maybe both.
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The post Her Ex-boyfriend Abandoned Her During Pregnancy, and Now He Reappears 16 Years After! first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.