A woman going through chemotherapy recently turned to Reddit for some advice. She wanted to know if she’d been the jerk when she told her boyfriend that she couldn’t do his meal prep for him, or was he the jerk!
She’s a Survivor
The Original Poster (OP) is a 31-year-old woman. She’s currently battling a rare form of cancer called Synovial sarcoma and has been undergoing chemotherapy since the beginning of January.
It’s Draining Her
It’s a physically and emotionally challenging time for her, as the treatment is very taxing on her body, causing extreme fatigue, nausea, and a host of other side effects.
She spends 8 hours a day, five days a week, in the cancer center, enduring a grueling regimen that leaves her feeling drained and vulnerable.
Her Boyfriend’s Request
One night, her boyfriend (24) asked her if she would do his meal prep for the next week.
She was hesitant, knowing that she wouldn’t be feeling her best and would likely need to focus on her own health and well-being during this difficult time.
She Didn’t Want to Upset Him
But she’s too lovely – she didn’t want to upset him by saying no straight away, so told him that she would try to do it when she felt better.
He Wasn’t Happy
However, her boyfriend wasn’t satisfied with that answer and kept pushing the issue, insisting that she should “just try” to make his meals.
This made OP feel frustrated and agitated, as she was already dealing with so much and didn’t want her lazy boyfriend to burden her with extra chores!
She Just Wants to Be Looked After
She wanted to feel coddled and taken care of during this difficult time in her life, not pushed to do more than she was capable of – and who could blame her?
It Was a Bit Much
To make matters worse, her boyfriend’s request wasn’t just for one meal – he wanted her to prepare his entire week’s worth of food!
This seemed like a lot to ask, especially given the circumstances.
An Immature Outlook
Her boyfriend starts work early in the morning and gets out in the early afternoon, so he has plenty of time to make his own meals.
She thinks that because he’s just 24, he still wants to be taken care of at this point in his life.
She understands that, but she didn’t want him to make her feel guilty for not being able to do more!
She Felt Unappreciated
OP felt like her boyfriend wasn’t acknowledging the efforts she was already making to take care of him.
Whenever he was at her place, she would offer him food, cook meals, or make a sandwich, depending on the day.
She Was Prioritizing Herself
She would also massage him and ask about his life, making an effort to show that she cared about him and his well-being.
By refusing to do his meal prep, she wasn’t being selfish or neglecting their relationship; she was just trying to prioritize her own health and well-being.
But He Wants Her to Prioritize Him!
But her boyfriend didn’t see it that way. He blew up at her, saying that acts of service were his love language and that their relationship was one-sided.
How Could He Say That?!
He accused her of not doing enough for him and making everything about her illness!
OP felt hurt and frustrated by his words, especially since she knew she was already doing her best under difficult circumstances.
He Blew Her Phone Up
Following that, he sent her a barrage of angry texts, which OP found difficult to handle because she wasn’t much for arguing.
He Doesn’t Even Do That Much
The kicker here is that her boyfriend doesn’t even do all that much for her. He takes out her trash when she asks him to and will give her a massage when her body hurts. That’s it!
Once, he had helped her walk when she had a reaction to medication that caused excruciating bone pain throughout her body, but usually, she’s not one to ask for help – it’s out of her nature.
She does appreciate these acts and has never complained, but it is a bit rich to demand so much from someone – especially someone undergoing such intense chemotherapy!
She Just Wanted a Quiet Day and Some Support
Despite her boyfriend’s angry texts and accusations, OP tried not to argue back too much. She knew that it wouldn’t do any good and would only make her feel worse.
She Wanted to Know if She Was at Fault
She was confused by this entire ordeal and needed an outside opinion, hence her post to Reddit. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong for saying no to him. Redditors, however overwhelmingly backed her side.
They thought it was crazy how much her boyfriend was prioritizing himself in the relationship when she was battling cancer. They thought he needed to grow up and fast; otherwise, he risks losing the OP – who sounds like a great partner!
What do you think about this story? Is her boyfriend being immature? Should she dump him and find someone that will look after her?
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