A Reddit user tells their story of receiving negative reactions after someone announced their daughter is transgender.
The Original Poster (OP) is the parent of a transgender daughter.
One day, during a family gathering with OP’s cousin, OP’s daughter went to the bathroom and was followed by one of their stepdaughters, who saw that she had male genitals.
The stepdaughter then ran out of the bathroom and announced to the whole room that OP’s daughter had male genitals. Understandably, OP’s daughter was distraught and in tears.
Supporting a Trans Child
OP comforted her daughter and explained that it was okay to feel upset and that being transgender is nothing to be ashamed of.
Transphobic Questions Cause Distress
Meanwhile, the other family members were asking questions, including whether OP’s daughter was secretly a boy. This upset her even more.
OP and her daughter left without answering any of their questions. Later, OP’s cousin showed up at her door and told her that his wife had kicked him out for refusing to share their daughter’s private information.
OP was grateful for her cousin’s support and decided to call her two older sisters, one of whom is married to a trans woman, to come over and stay with her daughter while she dealt with everything.
Transgender Truth Revealed
OP made a public post on social media to explain that her daughter is transgender and that she didn’t lie to anyone.
She explained that her daughter had come out at a young age and that they had been living as a girl for several years.
Misunderstanding Caused Negative Reactions
She emphasized in her post that gender identity is about more than just physical appearance and that her daughter was a girl regardless of her genitals.
Unfortunately, the post didn’t receive the positive reaction OP hoped for.
Mixed and Hurtful Reactions
Some people accused her of deception and questioned her trustworthiness. They felt that she should have told them about her daughter’s gender identity sooner, and that she was hiding something.
However, others were supportive and understanding and reached out to offer their love and support.
In the thread below the post, many commenters came to OP’s defense.
One said “Your daughter is your daughter. This is a fact. As far as whether to reveal whether or not she is transgender – that is entirely up to her.”
Confession Timing Criticized
Another user wrote that by writing the post earlier, OP would still be dealing with the aftermath. “Had you been more logistical about it sooner, you wouldn’t have avoided this situation.”
“You’d just have set the situation in motion sooner, and you’d likely still be dealing with it.”
Overall, the incident was a difficult and emotional experience for OP and her daughter.
They had to deal with the fallout from the bathroom incident, as well as the negative reaction to the social media post.
Support Empowers Confidence
However, they were able to come out of it stronger and more confident with their identity, thanks to the support of their family and friends.
OP said she would not apologize to anyone because she doesn’t feel like an apology is owed. But she still doesn’t know if she was necessarily in the right to keep it a secret.
Would you have also kept it a secret or told the truth in the first place?
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