A Reddit user wrote on a subthread to express their feelings after their mom revealed they would be bringing their boyfriend to their family vacation, less than a year after her father had passed.
A Tragic Loss
The Original Poster’s (OP) father passed away one year ago (April 2022) after a 1.5-year battle with cancer. At only 62 years old, he was married to OP’s mother for 31 years.
Illness Brings Couple Closer After Marital Problems
Prior to his illness, the couple had been experiencing marital problems and were even considering divorce.
However, as OP’s father underwent treatment and experienced the ups and downs of his illness, he and his wife were able to come together and resolve some of their issues.
She Provided Unwavering Support During His Illness
Throughout the process, OP’s mother was a constant source of support, caring for her husband every step of the way.
Struggles With Grief and Distance From Mother After Father’s Passing
OP continues to miss her father every day. While she has always been close with her mother, she now feels like she is seeing and talking to her less and less since her father’s passing, which saddens her.
A New Relationship Begins
In August of 2022, just four months after OP’s father passed away, her mother started seeing someone.
Although she referred to him as a “friend” and mentioned him in conversation, OP wanted nothing to do with him and still feels that way.
She thought it was too soon for her mother to start a new relationship and expressed this to her.
Things Feel Awkward
OP understands that everyone grieves differently, and she recognizes that dating after the loss of a spouse is a difficult process.
However, in her opinion, conversations between her mother and the man she is seeing have been awkward, and the chemistry between them seems off.
She Is Feeling Ignored
Despite the concerns and push-back from OP, her sister, and the extended family (who are all very close-knit), OP’s mother seems to be disregarding their feelings about this new relationship.
Awkward Atmosphere at Family Events
The man that OP’s mother is seeing has now started attending family events and parties, and there is an awkward atmosphere when he is around.
Nobody has voiced their discomfort out loud, but it is palpable.
New BF Joins in Prayer in Remembrance of Fallen Father
During a recent family Easter party at OP’s parent’s house, the man showed up unexpectedly. OP’s mother knew he was coming but did not inform anyone else.
As per tradition, the family stood in prayer before dinner, and OP’s uncle prayed out loud for those who have passed away.
It Was Uncomfortable
This made OP feel extremely uncomfortable, as the man who is dating her mother was there, holding hands with the family as they remembered OP’s father, in his own house, just shy of one year after his passing.
She Decides to Invite Him to the Family Vacation
The extended family is now booking flights for a large vacation in June, and they have already booked a condo for the trip.
During the Easter gathering, OP’s mother casually mentioned that she would be bringing her boyfriend along for the vacation.
They Tried to Voice Their Concerns
However, OP did not hear this at the time and only found out from a cousin later on.
Upon learning of this, OP promptly called their mother to express her feelings about the situation and stated that she did not want the boyfriend to come.
However, OP’s mother changed the subject and did not acknowledge her concerns at all.
The BF Was Causing Financial Issues in the Change of Plans
In addition to the earlier issues, another problem has now arisen regarding the upcoming family vacation.
Initially, the plan was to leave a day early to save on flight costs, and the family had agreed to split the expenses.
However, with the inclusion of OP’s mother’s boyfriend, the original plan is no longer feasible, and OP will end up spending more money.
No One Wants Him There
The main concern for OP is not the cost, but rather the principle of the matter.
Out of the 20 family members who will be on this trip, no one wants the boyfriend to be there, except for OP’s mother.
She Feels the Vacation Is Ruined
Unfortunately, he will be staying in the same condo as the rest of the family, which will create an awkward situation that everyone will have to tiptoe around for the entire week.
This is not how the family envisioned their vacation, as they had hoped to relax and enjoy quality time together.
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.