A frustrated Reddit user explained on a subthread about a recent experience with their half-sister. She is requesting he pay over $20K to pay for her weight-loss surgery.
He’s Looking for Support
The Original Poster (OP) has been experiencing significant financial difficulties concerning their family lately. Due to the varying reactions of the individuals in his life, OP decided to seek advice on Reddit.
A Sister With Weight Issues
OP, a 45-year-old male, has a half-sister named Alissa who is 37 years old and obese, weighing around 350 pounds.
She Wanted to Get Surgery
Alissa has been discussing the possibility of undergoing gastric sleeve surgery for the past year or two as a means of weight loss.
This type of surgery involves reducing the size of the stomach, and it can result in up to a 50% reduction of excess body fat within one to two years after the procedure.
He Is Happy She Wants to Be Healthy
OP is aware of the challenges Alissa has faced while attempting to lose weight, and he is pleased that she is exploring different methods to regain control of her life.
Moving Forward With the Procedure
After some research, Alissa has found a doctor with whom she feels comfortable and has attended several consultations to learn more about gastric sleeve surgery.
Thus far, everything appears to be progressing smoothly in relation to the procedure.
A Large Price for the Surgery
During a recent dinner at OP’s home, Alissa shared that the gastric sleeve surgery she wants is costly, with the doctor quoting $22,000 USD for the procedure, as well as additional plastic surgery to remove excess skin and scars.
She Doesn’t Have Any Money to Pay For It
Regrettably, Alissa lacks any savings and has been living paycheck to paycheck due to her employment as a retail manager in a city with a high cost of living.
They Are in a Different Financial Situation
OP and his wife are employed in stable corporate fields with 9-5 jobs, placing them in a more favorable financial position than Alissa.
She Asked For Them to Pay For It
Alissa asked them to help her pay for her gastric sleeve and subsequent plastic surgeries, as she lacked the financial means to pay for them. Alissa’s parents were unable to provide financial support as well.
They Offered a Smaller Portion
Following a private discussion with his wife, OP determined that they could not pay for the surgeries without making significant changes to their current lifestyle.
They did, however, offer to contribute $5,000 toward the procedures and provide care for Alissa’s pets during her recovery period.
She Was Angry With This Proposal
Following OP’s offer to only contribute $5,000, Alissa has been displaying hostility towards him and his wife.
She Is Talking About Them Poorly
She is now spreading negative comments about them, accusing them of valuing their lifestyle over her well-being and not assisting her in experiencing a necessary, life-changing event.
The Parents Are Siding With Her
OP believes that Alissa feels as if he is the one hindering her from living her life to the fullest and healthiest.
Asking For Their Son’s Tuition Money
OP’s parents suggested withdrawing their 16-year-old son from his private school, which costs approximately the same as the surgery, to finance Alissa’s medical expenses.
His Wife Put Her Foot Down
OP’s wife promptly declined, saying that this action would disrupt their child’s education and mental health. Consequently, they have been perceived as the jerks of the family, and everyone has labeled them as greedy snobs.
Is OP Being Unfair?
OP wants to help his sister become healthier, but he believes that they have already offered sufficient financial support and their time if necessary. Therefore, he is questioning if he is unfair in this situation.
Prioritize Your Son and Wife
Reddit users generally agree that OP is not being unfair and that their offer was generous. Many suggest that OP prioritize their son and wife, as their responsibility lies with their immediate family first.
Several users criticize Alissa for expecting her family members to pay for her cosmetic surgery and believe she should take financial responsibility for her own health. Some users advise that Alissa explores alternative funding options like loans or a side hustle.
While a few users suggest the use of GoFundMe, many believe that such crowdfunding is not appropriate in this situation.
One user wrote “You gave an offer to help both monetarily as well as with your time and help during recovery. She could always appreciate that and start looking at other options like possible loans, getting a side hustle, etc. to fund her life style change. I feel for her but she shouldn’t expect someone else to change their life around to pay for her health needs.”
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The post “You’re Not That Important” – Brother Refuses to Fund Sister’s Gastric Bypass Surgery, Now She’s Accusing Him of Valuing Their Lifestyle Over Her Well-Being first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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