When parents get divorced, it can be a challenging and emotional experience for the children. It can take years for the family to find a new normal, and in some cases, things never fully heal. Recently, this guy took to Reddit to ask whether he was wrong for telling his dad that he doesn’t care about his stepmother and step-siblings. Here’s the full story.
His Parents Separated When He Was Young
The Original Poster (OP) is a 24-year-old whose parents separated when he was in high school nearly ten years ago. At the time, there was a genuinely good understanding among his parents.
His Mother Remarried
A few years later, OP’s mom got remarried, and his stepdad is a great guy.
His Father Remarried Too
After the divorce, OP’s dad also met his future wife, Bianca.
Things Took a Turn
Things turned ugly when Bianca persuaded OP’s father that his ex-wife (OP’s mother) was purposefully hiding financial information from him and attempting to defraud him of money.
They Stopped Seeing Their Father
OP says it wasn’t true, but as a result, his sisters stopped going to see their dad because Bianca bad-mouthed their mom and their dad didn’t care whether they visited or not.
His Father Didn’t Try to Speak With Him
OP says his dad never made an effort to contact him when he was in college either.
An Unexpected Call
Then, out of the blue, OP’s father started messaging him again a few months ago and said he wants to meet.
He Had Also Called His Sisters
The following week OP’s dad also attempted to contact OP’s other sister Claire, now aged 21.
He was reaching out after Bianca threatened to sue OP’s mom if she didn’t take OP’s youngest sister, Katie, now 17 to visit their dad.
But Claire wasn’t happy because Bianca wouldn’t stop talking badly about their mother.
He Went to Meet His Father
Since Katie has repeatedly stated that she wants nothing to do with their father or his wife, OP consented to see him in order to prevent him from calling his sisters.
It Was an Uncomfortable Meeting
At first, the meeting went well, but Bianca’s negative comments about OP’s mom and uncomfortable comments about OP being gay made him uneasy.
His Father Pushed Him to Spend Time With His Family
However, because of his father’s poor health, OP was willing to put up with more than he typically would have.
His father then said OP didn’t prioritize family and tried to push him to spend more time with Bianca’s children from her previous marriage.
OP lashed out and said that he does prioritize his family, but that means his mother, stepfather, and sisters, not his father’s new family.
He Lashed Out
He admitted that he was open to having a relationship with his father’s stepchildren, but it was not a priority for him.
He felt hurt and angry that his father had dropped him so easily and was now trying to guilt him into spending time with his new family.
He Feels Bad
Then his father got angry and said OP was “replacing” him with his stepdad, and OP responded by telling him that if he had bothered to be in his life, OP wouldn’t have needed to do that. Since then, he has not spoken to OP.
Now OP feels bad about what happened and OP mentioned that maybe he really wounded his father’s feelings.
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.