A Reddit user recently wrote on a subthread to ask if they were in the wrong for wanting to skip their parents’ vow renewal after they expressed their disappointment in their child’s partner.
Background of the Family
For some background, the Original Poster (OP) is bisexual and their parents are devout Christians.
OP has never told his parents about any past relationships, whether with a man or a woman, because his parents have always appeared to be against dating in general.
He Was Private About His Love Life
As a result, OP has been fairly private about his life in general while growing up. From time to time, OP’s parents have noticed this and asked him to be more open and communicate with them.
They Wanted to Know More
In October or November of the previous year, OP’s parents expressed feeling like they didn’t really know their child due to their secrecy, and they expressed a desire to build a better relationship.
He Didn’t Want a Formal Announcement
OP never desired to have a formal “coming out” announcement or anything of that nature because it did not feel authentic to his identity. OP simply wants to live his life with whomever he chooses.
Making Plans for the Future
His plan was to reveal his sexuality to his parents once he entered a serious relationship.
Not a Good Reaction
However, about seven years ago, OP accidentally revealed that he was dating a man in a conversation with their parents.
Unfortunately, the reaction was not positive, and his parents strongly suggested that it was just “a phase”.
They Became More Understanding
Throughout the years, OP observed that his parents seemed to mature and grow in their understanding, leading OP to believe that they would eventually be more accepting of his sexuality when the time was right.
Facing a Challenge
Currently, OP faces a predicament. They have been in a relationship with their boyfriend, Griffin (27M), for nine months.
They are in a long-distance relationship, and they travel to see each other every month.
They Were in a Serious Relationship
Their relationship has become quite serious, as they have met each other’s friends, coworkers, and bosses.
Additionally, Griffin has come out to his own parents about their relationship. For OP, Griffin is undoubtedly their lifelong partner.
However, OP’s parents (55F and 57M) are planning to renew their vows (essentially, a second wedding ceremony for already married individuals) next week.
He Wanted to Talk to Them in Person
OP requested to have an in-person conversation with both his mom and dad, as it was a significant matter that needed to be discussed.
Initially, his parents had planned to come over on the first day, but they canceled due to being busy and postponed it to the following day.
They Kept Putting It Off
However, on the next day, they postponed again for another day. Eventually, only OP’s father showed up on Wednesday.
Although he was slightly irritated by the situation, OP simply wanted to get the conversation over with.
He Did Not Approve
When OP informed his father about his partner, Griffin, he responded by saying that he would never disown OP because he is his son and he loves them.
However, he also stated that being in a same-sex relationship goes against his beliefs and that he does not approve of it.
OP Was Disappointed
Furthermore, he made it clear that he did not want to meet Griffin or know anything about him.
This response left OP feeling disheartened, and he simply replied with an “okay” before leaving the room.
Later on, OP’s mother called, stating that she was too busy planning an upcoming event to visit.
Nevertheless, OP’s father had already informed her about Griffin, and she expressed a desire to meet him.
However, she did not want Griffin to stay at the house when he visits, even though OP rents the property from his parents and lives there with their dog, Bubble.
She Did Not Acknowledge the Situation
Additionally, she refused to acknowledge Griffin as OP’s boyfriend and instead referred to him as a friend.
She also insinuated that OP would have to answer to God for their “sinful” behavior.
OP finds themselves in a difficult position. He is aware that his parents’ vow renewal is a significant event, and he is expected to walk his mother down the aisle.
Nevertheless, given his parents’ negative response to his relationship, OP feels conflicted about attending the ceremony.
What Should OP Do?
He is hesitant to show support for his parents’ relationship when they do not receive the same support in return.
Seeking advice from Reddit, OP asks if he should attend the vow renewal or not.
Reddit Community Weighs In
Reddit users have commented on this situation. Some users have suggested that OP should not attend the ceremony, as his parents’ behavior has demonstrated a lack of respect and support for his relationship.
Suggestions for OP
Some have also highlighted the potential consequences of attending the ceremony, including the possibility of being made to feel uncomfortable or experiencing future problems with housing arrangements.
Other users have emphasized the importance of OP’s own emotional well-being, and have suggested that he prioritize this over attending the ceremony.
However, some users have also cautioned that OP should consider whether he is staying away out of genuine discomfort or just as a means of teaching their parents a lesson.
What Do You Think?
What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?
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The post He’s Planning to Skip His Parent’s Vow Renewal Ceremony Since They Won’t Accept That He Is Gay. Now Who Will Walk His Mom Down the Aisle? first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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