In a recent Reddit post, a user found himself in a conflict with his ex regarding his daughter’s use of bad language and his ex’s desire to enforce the rules under his roof.
Clash of Beliefs
Jake always found himself in a challenging situation with his ex-partner, who had strong religious beliefs. She held more traditional and conservative views than he did.
They Decided to Co-parent Their Daughter
Despite these differences, following their divorce, they decided to co-parent their daughter, Kate.
Their Parenting Styles Were Different
However, differences in their parenting styles often led to friction.
The Problem of Language
One particular area of disagreement centered on Kate’s language. Jake had a more relaxed attitude towards language in his household.
He Didn’t Care Much About Language
Since no other people were present, he didn’t particularly care about using casual language. He only worried about slurs. And while he didn’t mind the occasional use of other profanities, he would give Kate a hard time if she dropped an f-bomb.
Swearing Was Part of Language?
Jake firmly believed that swearing was merely a part of language and didn’t inherently carry any moral connotations.
His Ex Was Strict With Language
However, his ex-wife was more strict when it came to language. She considered all forms of swearing, especially phrases involving God, Jesus, or Damnation, to be sinful.
He Attempted to Negotiate a Compromise
Despite her disapproval, Jake attempted to negotiate a compromise, but his ex-wife took an uncompromising “my way or the highway” attitude.
A recent conflict emerged when Kate argued with Jake’s ex and her husband over her younger half-brother’s use of the “J-word.”
His Ex Blamed Her Daughter
His ex blamed Kate for introducing “ungodly language” into their household.
She Wanted to Live With Her Dad
During the confrontation, Kate expressed her desire to live with Jake full-time due to her mother’s strictness.
His Ex Was Pressuring Him
Now, Jake’s ex was pressuring him to change the rules in his house and accused him of deliberately being lenient to win favoritism as the preferred parent.
The Potential Negative Impact of Different Rules
Jake acknowledged the potential negative impact of drastically different rules at each parent’s house on children of divorced parents.
He Felt Bad
However, now Jake started to question whether he had been too stubborn and if his unwillingness to compromise had inadvertently pushed Kate away from her mother.
Different Rules for Different Houses, It’s Normal
He took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong in the situation and several Redditors sided with him, saying he was not wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “Look, every kid has to learn that different houses have different rules. The language you use at Grandma’s dinner table is not the same language you use hanging out with your friends.”
Your House, Your Rules
Another Redditor commented, “Your house, your rules. Her house, her rules. Simple. If your ex’s ridiculous rules are driving your daughter away, that’s on her. Maybe if she had just compromised when you asked, she wouldn’t be in this situation.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.