An upset father asked Reddit users if they were in the wrong for missing their daughter’s ballet recital to go see their son’s play instead.
A Blended Family
The Original Poster (OP) has a 10-year-old daughter named Carmen with his ex-partner Lisa. He also has a stepson named Luke who is 18 years old with his current wife Sadie.
The Relationship Ended Poorly
OP’s relationship with Lisa ended when their daughter was born due to her infidelity.
Taking on the Role of His Biological Father
Additionally, Luke’s biological father has been absent from his life since he was 10 years old, and OP has been taking care of him since then.
The Daughter Is Passionate About Ballet
OP’s daughter Carmen is enthusiastic about ballet and participates in a club that hosts monthly mini-recitals as well as an annual major recital.
While the Son Is Into Theatre
On the other hand, OP’s stepson Luke has a passion for theatre and is a member of a club that puts on four plays each year.
OP has attended almost all of Carmen and Luke’s performances in the past.
A Scheduling Issue
However, a scheduling conflict arose when both the mini-recital and the play coincided on the same day, making it impossible for OP to attend both.
OP Decided on the Son’s Play
After much contemplation, OP ultimately decided to attend Luke’s play for two important reasons.
Firstly, it was Luke’s last play before heading off to college, and secondly, Luke had secured the lead role.
Not Making Any Promises to either Child
OP did not make any promises to attend either Carmen’s ballet recital or Luke’s play.
Due to OP’s occupation in the medical field, it is common for him to receive emergency calls or be called in for other reasons.
He Explained the Situation to Her
The day before the events, OP informed Carmen that he would not be able to attend the recital and provided an explanation for his absence.
Despite the news, Carmen was understanding, and OP promised to buy her ice cream as a consolation.
Trying to Make It up to Her
To make up for their absence, OP arranged for his ex-brother-in-law to attend the recital in his place and record the performance.
This way, OP could watch the recording with Carmen during his custody time.
She Called Him Out
Upon the conclusion of the play, OP’s ex-partner contacted him and accused him of being a jerk for prioritizing someone else’s child over his own daughter’s event.
Furthermore, OP’s mother became involved in the matter and echoed similar sentiments.
He Feels Uncertain of His Choice
Despite not believing that his decision was wrong, OP felt uncertain about the situation and sought outside perspective.
Thus, he asked if he was a jerk for missing his daughter’s ballet recital in order to attend his son’s play.
In response to Reddit users’ questions about Carmen’s relationship with OP, he confirmed that she is indeed his daughter.
Additionally, there was some confusion about custody arrangements.
OP clarified that they have year-round custody of Carmen, while their ex-partner has her for one week and visitation on special events.
He Cares for Them Equally
Lastly, OP expressed his sentiment that Luke, despite not being their biological child, is still his son.
He made it clear that he does not care about his biological relationship and requested that anyone who thinks otherwise to refrain from commenting on the matter.
Reddit Users Weigh In
Many Reddit users agree that OP is not the jerk for missing his daughter’s ballet recital in order to attend their son’s play.
Ultimately, the majority of users agreed that OP had made a reasonable decision given the circumstances and that they should not feel guilty for missing the recital.
What do you think? What would you do if were OP?
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