The story is about a father who, despite achieving great success in his life, struggles with feelings of bitterness and resentment towards his father, who was absent during his childhood.
Fatherless From a Young Age
Growing up, the Original Poster’s father was never around. His parents divorced when he was young, and his father never made an effort to be part of his life.
The Hurt That Comes With Feeling Unwanted
It hurt him a lot, and he spent many years feeling angry and resentful toward his father.
Building a Successful Career
Now that OP is an adult, he has built a successful career for himself. He has a great job, a nice house, and a loving family.
The Lingering Resentment
But even with all this success, he still can’t help but feel a twinge of bitterness toward his father.
The Urge to Brag
His father missed so much of his life, and now that he’s doing well, he wants to rub his success in his father’s face.
It’s a terrible feeling to have, but he can’t help it. Every time he thinks about him, he gets this urge to call him up and brag about how well he’s doing.
Trying to Reinforce Guilt
OP wants his father to see what his father missed out on, and he wants him to feel bad for not being there.
Seeking Therapy for Guidance
OP has tried talking to therapists about it, but nothing seems to help. He feels stuck in this cycle of bitterness and resentment, and he doesn’t know how to break free.
Seeing Healthy Father/Son Relationships
It’s especially hard when OP sees other people with great relationships with their fathers.
The Loneliness of Fatherlessness
He knows he’ll never have that feeling, and it makes him feel even more alone.
Reaching Out to an Absent Parent
OP has tried to contact him in the past, but he always brushes him off or makes excuses for why he can’t spend time with him.
Trying to Be Understanding
OP tries to remind himself that his father is just a flawed human being, like everyone else.
Maybe his father had his own issues that prevented him from being there for him, and it’s not entirely his fault.
Can Broken Bonds Ever Be Truly Mended?
But even with all this rationalization, OP still can’t shake the desire to rub his success in his father’s face.
It’s like a deep-seated need that he can’t ignore. He doesn’t know what to do about it.
What Did Redditors Say?
He asked Redditors for advice, and this is what they said.
Learning to Forgive and Forget
GlobalGodz wrote, “At this point, what would be accomplished by rubbing your success in his face? You’re successful and seem to be doing well.”
“Therapy will help, but if these are your therapy thoughts, then you have to learn to forgive and forget.”
Try to Worry About Him Less
Another user wrote, “Your best revenge would be not worrying about him and taking care of yourself. You can be boastful, but nothing is guaranteed. What if that all goes away?”
What advice would you give? If he rubbed his success in his father’s face, would he end up feeling better?
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This post He’s a Successful Man in His Own Right, but He Is Plagued by Bitterness Towards His Absentee Father to This Day first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Marjan Apostolovic. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit