A Reddit user told how she recently bought a small present for her niece, and how it backfired into a fallout in the family.
A Surprise Gift
The Original Poster (OP) bought a small present for her niece, despite the family not wanting to celebrate birthdays at all.
A Family Decision Not to Celebrate Birthdays
OP (24F) is currently dealing with a controversial issue in her family and is seeking outside opinions. Her older brother (30M) and sister-in-law (31F) have a daughter (6F). They have an unconventional parenting style that includes not celebrating birthdays or giving birthday gifts.
They Think It Might “Spoil the Child”
This decision was made by her Sister-In-Law (SIL), who believes that recognizing birthdays and providing gifts can lead to spoiling the child and an inflated sense of self-importance on their special day.
Trying to Respect Their Wishes
Although OP finds it strange, she respects their wishes and doesn’t celebrate their family’s birthdays, including her niece’s.
This approach is controversial in OP’s family, as they value the celebration of holidays and birthdays, but they respect her brother and SIL’s parenting style.
She Is Starting to Feel Left Out
OP and her niece are pretty close, after all, she is her favorite aunt. OP said that the whole birthday thing wasn’t an issue, because her niece was still too young to understand.
But now that she’s 6 she understands the concept of a birthday and is confused as to why she “doesn’t have one”.
She Even Spoke With the Teacher About It
SIL went as far as to talk to OP’s niece’s teacher, explaining her style of parenting. Now the teacher doesn’t acknowledge the niece’s birthday either, because SIL will have a fit and complain to the school board if she does.
Getting a Small Taste of Birthday Cake
Last weekend was OP’s fiancé’s birthday, and on Sunday her family and his family gathered at her house to have a small birthday dinner for him with some cake.
She Wanted to Blow Out the Candles
When it was time to blow out the candles, OP’s niece asked her fiancé if she could try. He said sure, as long as it’s okay with your mom and dad.
She Reluctantly Agreed
OP’s SIL looked hesitant but said yes. So the niece helped OP’s fiancé blow out his candles and made a wish with him.
As a joke, OP’s fiancé asked her what she wished for and she said “a cake on my birthday”.
They Asked to Take Her to Dinner
OP’s niece’s birthday was on Thursday, and on Sunday, OP asked her brother and SIL if she could take her niece out for dinner, and SIL agreed.
During dinner, the family got their server to bring out a cupcake with a candle in it for the niece to blow out, without singing happy birthday.
She Gave Her a Small Birthday Gift
Afterward, OP gave her niece a gift bag containing a heart-shaped necklace, which the niece loved along with the cupcake.
They Were So Angry With Her!
SIL and OP’s brother became angry with OP and her fiancé when they found out that the couple had taken their niece out for dinner and gave her a gift and cupcake without their permission.
She Accused Her
SIL accused OP and her fiancé of not respecting their parenting style and said that their niece is not allowed to be around them alone anymore.
She Tried to Explain Herself
OP tried to explain that no one acknowledged the niece’s birthday during the dinner and that the gift and cupcake were harmless.
They Still Thought She Was Wrong
However, SIL and OP’s brother still believe that OP was in the wrong, but the rest of the family thinks that SIL’s stance on birthdays and gifts is strange.
Reddit Users Comment on This
The Reddit community went crazy over this story, adding many comments to the thread. One wrote “Parenting style? You can’t just do something incredibly socially unacceptable and/or cruel and call it a parenting style.”
Another stated “I had a Jehovah’s Witness friend growing up who didn’t get to celebrate a single birthday until their early 20s when they were kicked out of their family/church for coming out.”
“And they’d told me in the past how much they hated watching other people have birthdays growing up and never getting one.”
“They always appreciated the people who did wish them happy birthday when they saw them at school because that was the only acknowledgment he got. Kids notice this stuff and carry it with them into adulthood.”
The majority of the comments were in favor of OP deciding to celebrate her niece’s birthday with the cupcake and a small gift. They believed that the child will only benefit from this act, not be spoiled by it.
Should OP have given the gift to her niece?
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The post She Bought Her Niece Her First Birthday Present at Age 6. She Got Blasted and Banned From Seeing Her on Her Own first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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Source: Reddit