A Redditor recently turned to the community to ask if they were wrong for not including their niece in her daughter’s party because it was out of her sister-in-law’s means.
Shared Birthday Parties
The Original Poster (OP) has a daughter (8F) and a niece (8F) who were born just 10 days apart. Because of this, OP’s sister-in-law has always pushed for the girls to have a “shared” birthday party.
Covering the Costs
When the girls were younger, OP and her husband agreed to have shared parties, but they soon realized that they were always the ones covering the costs for everything (food, decorations, location, etc.).
Additionally, the girls have completely different interests, with OP’s daughter being more of a tomboy and her niece being extremely girly.
Disagreement on Shared Birthdays
When OP and her husband told her sister-in-law and OP’s brother that they would no longer be participating in shared birthdays, it caused a significant disagreement.
Frustration and Financial Strain
The sister-in-law and brother expressed their frustration, stating that they couldn’t afford to throw a nice birthday party for the niece, while OP and her husband could.
They argued that it made sense for OP and her husband to cover the costs since they are all “family.”
Standing Firm on Decision
Unwilling to accept this arrangement, OP and her husband firmly stood by their decision. Consequently, the girls have had separate birthday parties ever since.
Formula 1 Themed Party
OP’s daughter and her husband share a love for watching Formula 1 together, and the daughter wanted to have a Formula 1 themed birthday party this year.
Family Dinner Conversation
The weekend before the birthday, there was a family dinner at OP’s parent’s house, where the sister-in-law, OP’s brother, and niece were also in attendance.
During the dinner, OP’s parents asked the girls if they were excited about their upcoming birthdays and if they planned to have parties this year.
Different Birthday Plans
OP’s daughter excitedly informed her grandparents that she would be having a Formula 1 themed party this year.
Meanwhile, the sister-in-law spoke on behalf of her daughter, explaining that they would not be hosting a party this year due to financial constraints. The did not proceed further with the topic.
Birthday Party Incident
Fast forward to the past weekend, when OP’s daughter’s birthday party took place on Saturday.
The celebration was going smoothly, with the entire family invited, as per usual. Everyone was enjoying themselves until the cake was brought out.
Misunderstanding Over Cake
OP was in the kitchen with her mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and a few other family friends, chatting while preparing the cake to be served to the guests. Upon seeing the cake, the sister-in-law appeared puzzled.
Confrontation and Accusations
The sister-in-law asked OP if the birthday cake was for both girls, seeing that only OP’s daughter’s name was on the cake.
OP clarified that it was only for her daughter. The sister-in-law then expressed her assumption that OP would include her niece in the celebration due to their financial situation.
The sister-in-law, upset by the conversation, stormed out of the kitchen and caused a scene at the party.
She called for her husband and niece, announcing that it was time to leave, and then they departed.
Since that incident, she has been continuously messaging OP and her husband, attempting to make them feel guilty about her niece not having a birthday party and calling them various names.
OP feels regretful that her niece won’t have a birthday party but wonders if she is at fault for not including her, considering her sister-in-law and brother’s financial situation.
Reddit Users Chime In
Reddit users commented on this thread, stating that OP was justified in only throwing a party for her daughter. They said it was not her job to ensure a party is planned for her niece or any other extended family member.
One wrote “That’s up to her parents. If things are tight maybe they need to be creative but it’s still on them.”
Should OP have put her niece’s name on the cake?
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