This compelling slice of family drama is a sad tale. A teen user asked Redditors if she was in the wrong for telling her dad and his wife that it was too late to compromise and that she didn’t want to engage in therapy with them.
She’s a Young Girl
The Original Poster (OP), a 16-year-old girl, told her father and his wife that she had no intention of going to therapy with them.
The reason for her decision: she is angry that her father’s wife, B, adopted her and her brothers. She and her older brother objected to the adoption, but her dad and stepmom ignored them!
She Has Had It Hard
The story of their family is complex. OP and her two brothers lost their mother when they were young. Their father remarried less than a year later.
Her Stepmother Forced Herself on the Kids
Her stepmom had lost her husband and had no kids but had always wanted them. When they got married, they sat the children down and told them she was going to adopt them.
Family Members Told Her She Didn’t Need to Legally Adopt Them
Around that time, some extended family members tried to talk B and their father out of the adoption.
They told them that the extended family could take care of them if anything happened to their father, and there was no need to go through with the adoption.
But She Was Headstrong
B told the family members she was their mother now, and the adoption needed to happen.
As part of the adoption process, OP and her older brother spoke to a social worker and the judge and told them they didn’t want to be adopted.
The State Fought for the Kids
Initially, the state rejected the adoption request based on their conversations, but then OP’s dad and B came up with a story. They told the judge that the kids would have nobody else to take care of them if anything happened to their father.
Until Their Dad Lied
They also said their family had already said they wouldn’t raise them if anything happened to their father, so the state approved the adoption!
They have new birth certificates since the adoption, and B’s name is in the place of their mother’s name!
They Thought This Was Unforgivable
Shockingly, they only found that out when OP gave her mom’s name in school one day and had to bring in her birth certificate and saw B’s name!
Her Brother Said Some Awful Things
Her brothers had no idea what had happened either. It angered her older brother so much that he told B he hoped she would die, so they could be adopted again since she was far more replaceable than their mom.
He Ended Up in Therapy Until He Finally Left the House
That incident made B and their dad put him into therapy with them. That lasted for two years until he finally turned 18 and moved out last year.
He then asked their maternal grandparents to adopt him since he couldn’t find any way to reverse the adoption.
When She Was Adopted Her Stepmother Took Control of Her Life
The adoption had significant legal and emotional implications for OP and her brothers.
The change in their birth certificates meant that in the eyes of the law, they were B’s children, and she could make decisions for them.
It Was a Source of Trauma for Her
OP found it difficult to answer the question of who her mother was when she was asked, as legally, it was B.
She also discovered that when she turned 18, B would be automatically entitled to take control if she became disabled or very sick.
They Want to Flee the Nest Too!
Recently, B and OP’s father figured out that OP and her younger brother want to do the same, so they suggested therapy with them separately and working out a compromise.
She Told Her Dad It Was Too Late to Salvage the Relationship
However, OP told her father it was too late for that. They had already erased their mom, and nothing they could say would make her feel differently about what they did!
All Her Stepmother Wanted Was Love, but She’d Gone About It the Wrong Way
B broke down and told OP that she just wanted the chance to be a mother and wanted the kids to love her back, but OP said to her that they were never her children and she would need to accept the fact she was never going to be loved back!
Her father suggested that they could still work something out, like having their grandparents adopt them but call him and B mom and dad and let them still be parents and grandparents in the future.
She Was Uncompromising
However, OP said there was no room for compromise, and it was too late. Their father and B said she was being unfair, but she didn’t care.
This story is not just about the adoption but about how it happened and how the family members feel about it.
OP and her older brother never wanted to be adopted, but their dad and B ignored them.
They Felt Like Their Parents Had Tried to Erase Their Birth Mother!
They didn’t want to erase their mom, but B’s name is in the place of their mother’s name on their birth certificates!
It’s not just about B wanting to be a mother but about how she went about it.
One Reddit user said, “B had a fantasy of being a mother. She didn’t seem to know or care who you were or how you felt — she just tried to make you fit her fantasy, and you’re under no obligation to help her with that, no matter what she thinks.”
What do you think about this story? It’s a very complex story with a lot of nuances. Hopefully, the family can find a resolution.
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The post She Has No Intention of Compromising, Her Dad and His Partner Adopted Her Against Her Will! Should She Reconsider? first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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