In a recent Reddit post, a person questioned whether they were in the wrong for stealing an LGBTQ ally pin from their mother-in-law, who doesn’t actually support it. Here’s the full story.
They Started Dating
The Original Poster (OP), 18 FTM, and Nyx, 17 Gender-fluid, started dating about six months ago. They are in a Trans for Trans relationship (T4T).
Meeting the Parents
Early on in their relationship, OP got to know Nyx’s parents, and OP instantly fell in love with their family.
OP’s initial impression of their family was that they were really kind and encouraging. Although, mostly, it was their father who was very encouraging.
The Mother Acted in an Uneasy Way
However, their mother started to make OP feel uneasy. For instance, she requested that they use their original name instead of their preferred name.
OP says the mother is generally a bit of a hypocrite. Despite her claims of being highly supportive, she frequently ignores OP’s partner’s preferred pronouns outright.
She frequently misgenders OP, and her support for OP seems like an act. And she’ll give gay people a speech about how challenging being gay is.
The Story Begins
The story began during Nyx’s graduation. Nyx’s mother showed them an LGBTQ ally pin that read, “You Are Safe With Me,” featuring the inclusive pride flag colors she was wearing.
She Acted Like She Was a Supporter
She wanted to wear it to “demonstrate that she is safe.”
She also gave pronoun pins to know which pronouns she should use. Nyx took and pinned the “They/Them” pin and continued to the ceremony.
She Continued to Disregard Their Pronouns
However, Nyx’s mother continued to use the she/her pronoun for Nyx despite the pin.
Throughout the day, OP and Nyx tried to correct her, but she always seemed to disregard OP and continued doing it on purpose.
The very next day, she informed Nyx that “we are the parents” and “he needs to stop correcting everything.”
They Decided to Steal It
The turning point occurred when OP discovered the pin left unattended on the bathroom counter.
Seeing an opportunity to address their Nyx’s mother’s performative allyship, they took the pin, initially hiding it beneath the counter.
Their Partner Supported It
Nyx entered the restroom after OP left. And they walked out holding the pin and said, “I have an awful thought. Look what I found,” before handing it to OP.
OP proposed that they take it and hide it so that their mother can’t act like an ally in front of others and give the impression that she is supporting LGBTQ+ people when she isn’t.
They believed it to be a wise decision, and OP took it.
They Took To Reddit
OP asked Reddit whether they were wrong for stealing the pin, and several Redditors said that OP was wrong for what they did.
One Reddit user wrote they were a jerk, “despite whether or not MIL is putting up a farce as an ally, and whether or not it’s deserved, you’re still stealing her property and are ultimately in the wrong.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cookie Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.