A homeowner recently turned to Reddit for advice, she has a sizable garden but doesn’t want her in-laws to use her garden for their dogs. Is she being selfish?
Living Close to Family
The Original Poster (OP) and her husband are homeowners with a sizable fenced-in yard. Their 80-pound dog takes delight in frolicking and playing in the yard.
Recently, OP’s father-in-law (75 years old) and stepmother (68 years old) relocated and now live only 10 minutes away from OP’s home.
Making OP’s Backyard a Dog Park
OP’s father-in-law has taken up a new habit of bringing his two dogs, a Bernese mountain dog and a rescue dog, over to OP’s house without prior approval.
Whenever he needs to stop by for a brief visit, he will bring his dogs in through the back gate and release them into OP’s backyard before entering the house.
It’s Becoming Annoying
It even occurs frequently when OP is not home. OP’s husband feels hesitant to deny entry to the dogs once they are already in the yard.
They Should Have Trained Them
OP has observed that her in-laws’ two dogs are not properly trained, especially the 3-year-old Bernese mountain dog who is still intact and behaves recklessly.
The Berner frequently tries to mount OP’s female dog, who has already been spayed. As a result, the two dogs end up play-wrestling and getting themselves covered in dirt.
She Is Sick of Them Using Her Yard
Currently, OP’s in-laws are unable to take their dogs to a dog park for exercise due to the Berner not being neutered, even though they are supposed to schedule the procedure.
So, they have taken to using OP’s yard as a substitute dog park without obtaining her permission.
He Let the Dogs Dirty Up the House
Last Friday, when OP returned home after picking up her child from work, she discovered that her father-in-law had brought their dogs over earlier.
When she came inside, OP’s husband told her that their own dog was covered in dirt and saliva.
She Was So Upset!
The sight of her dirty dog made OP so upset that she nearly cried. The situation was especially distressing as OP is eight months pregnant and had planned to have guests over the following day.
She Already Had a Lot on Her Plate
She had already made arrangements to clean the house on Friday and Saturday morning, without overtaxing herself or her husband.
However, the unexpected dog bath took up an hour and a half of their Friday evening.
Telling Them to Please Stop
OP sent a text message to her father-in-law and stepmother, expressing her concern about their dogs visiting without prior notice.
In the message, she acknowledged the dogs’ need for space to run around since they couldn’t go to the dog park but she emphasized that it was not convenient for them to show up unannounced.
OP also mentioned the dirty condition of their own dog after the last visit.
They Were Unresponsive
However, her message went unanswered. Instead, when her in-laws came to pick up their grandchild for their visit on Sunday, they reprimanded OP’s husband for ten minutes.
They Didn’t See Anything Wrong
They argued that they had done nothing wrong and expressed their disapproval of being told they couldn’t bring their dogs over without prior permission. These conversations happened while OP was not present.
She is Frustrated with her In-Laws!
OP typically has a positive relationship with her in-laws. However, she finds it frustrating that they have ignored her text message while taking issue with her comments and speaking to her husband.
Should She Apologize?
OP is uncertain if she should offer an apology for her tone in the text to help mend the relationship, or if she should maintain her boundaries and not allow them to use her yard as an informal dog park without prior approval.
She’s not sure if she is the one being unreasonable by insisting that their yard is not a substitute for a dog park.
Reddit Community Talks About It
One Reddit user suggests that OP needs to stand her ground and not allow her in-laws to continue using her yard without permission.
They advised OP not to apologize for setting boundaries and to let her in-laws know that she expects them to ask before bringing their dogs over.
Another Reddit user suggested that OP’s in-laws may be feeling defensive because they are used to having free access to her yard.
They advised OP to approach the situation calmly and offer to work together to find a solution that works for everyone, such as scheduling specific times for the dogs to visit.
A third Reddit user said that OP is not being unreasonable in setting boundaries for her property and that her in-laws should respect her wishes.
They advised OP to stick to her guns and not allow her in-laws to take advantage of her kindness.
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The post She Stood up to Her In-Laws and Told Them They Couldn’t Use Her Backyard as Their Dog Park. They Didn’t Respond, but Were Clearly Offended first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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Source: Reddit