This tale of family drama went viral recently on Reddit. It stems from a predicament that a lot of families find themselves dealing with: the inheritance of heirlooms. Let’s dive in.
The Original Poster (OP) wants to know if she was the jerk after telling her cousin she’d ruined a family heirloom. She’s 26 and is in the middle of a family feud over a ring.
A Beautiful Heirloom
In this case, it is a beautiful white gold and diamond ring that was given to her grandmother by her grandpa, who has since remarried and promised to pass it on to one of her granddaughters.
Her Cousin Just Inherited It
OP has two cousins: a 33-year-old named J, who is married, and a 28-year-old named A, who just got married. OP is single and has always admired her grandma’s diamond ring.
She always knew as the youngest cousin, she needed to temper her expectations, so she wasn’t surprised when her grandma chose to give it to A’s now-husband to propose to A last summer.
It’s Staying in the Family
OP and her older cousin were happy for A and glad that the ring was staying in the family.
But All Is Not as It Seems
Fast forward to A’s wedding, and things take a turn for the worst. A invited OP and J to her hotel room, where she was getting ready, and showed them the ring she would be wearing.
What’s This?
It was not the ring OP and J were expecting, but rather a “gargantuan, tacky engagement ring and wedding band set” that looked nothing like their grandma’s diamond ring.
OP asks her cousin about it, to which A responds that it is indeed Grandma’s ring.
She’d “Upgraded” It!
However, for her wedding gift, she asked her husband to “upgrade” the ring into this monstrosity since he didn’t have to pay for an engagement ring in the first place!
Only one of the diamonds was from Grandma’s ring, and the rest was all new material!
She Was Devastated
OP was devastated and broke down in tears. She told her cousin that she had destroyed their grandparents’ heirloom and that the ring was important to their family.
A, on the other hand, got huffy and said that she had to finish getting ready, so OP and J left.
There Was Nothing They Could Do
J was also upset but had the attitude of “It’s her ring, nothing we can do now.” So OP approached her grandmother to tell her about A’s actions.
Her Grandma Was Upset Too
A’s mom had told Grandma that she had to have the ring resized and have the setting fixed, but Grandma had no idea that they’d made it into an entirely new ring!
Although Grandma didn’t say anything, OP could tell that she was upset.
It Was an Awkward Wedding
The wedding went on, but everyone could feel the awkwardness between OP and her cousin, and J and her grandmother refused to talk about the matter.
OP is finding it hard to get over what A did, and she’s wondering if she is in the wrong for feeling the way she does.
Don’t Take It if You Don’t Like It
With regards to the gifting of the ring, OP explains that there weren’t any specific conditions tied to it. However, she notes that Grandma had offered the ring to her cousin’s now-husband but didn’t pressure him into taking it.
She Should Have Given It Back
She told him that he didn’t have to take it if he didn’t think A would want it, implying that she was offering the ring as it was.
Furthermore, J later revealed that Grandma had also offered her the ring after she and her wife eloped, but J turned it down because they didn’t do engagement rings.
She Couldn’t Imagine They’d Strip It
At the time, she thought either A or OP would want it as an engagement ring.
So while Grandma didn’t say, “You have to keep it this way,” OP knows that she never imagined that any of them would essentially use it for parts!
She’s Misled Her Family
OP feels like A saw the ring not as an heirloom but as a way to subsidize what she really wanted.
She thinks A misled their grandma and the rest of the family by not telling anyone what she was doing with the ring.
Who Deserves an Apology?
But now A is saying that OP owes her an apology for telling her she ruined a family heirloom! OP doesn’t think that she is in the wrong for saying what she said; after all – it’s the truth.
Heirlooms Are Important
It is natural for family members to feel attached to these items and to feel a sense of responsibility for preserving them.
In this case, OP’s feelings are justified, as Grandma promised the ring to her and her cousins, and she feels that A has taken advantage of the situation.
She wanted Reddit’s advice on who was wrong, and Reddit overwhelmingly took her side. They thought her cousin was ungrateful and had no right to destroy the ring for parts.
One user said, “not the jerk for feeling the way you do, it’s just common decency not to redesign something like that.”
“If it wasn’t good enough as it is, she should have been honest and told your grandma that she has something else in mind and it’s more other cousins style. Just any excuse would have been so much better really. Your poor grandma.”
What do you think about this story? Should her cousin apologize for stripping the heirloom for parts, or is our storyteller in the wrong for calling her out on her wedding day?
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The post Her Cousin Turned Her Grandma’s Ring Into a “Tacky Engagement Ring!” She Had Always Hoped the Ring Would Be Hers first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit