She’s Battling a Degenerative Disease That Causes Her 24/7 Debilitating Pain, Yet Her Mom Is Angry at Her for Not Having Kids?!

A woman suffering from a chronic illness took to Reddit to vent about her mother! Her mom is constantly demanding she has kids, and she’s at her wit’s end with her.

She’s Never Wanted Kids

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Our protagonist, the Original Poster (OP), has always known that she didn’t want to be a mother. As a young girl, she never played with dolls or expressed any interest in caring for children.

She never felt that maternal urge that so many women describe, and as she grew older, she became increasingly certain that she didn’t want to have kids.

She’s Battling an Awful Disease

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At the age of 27, OP’s life was thrown into chaos when she was diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).

Her diagnosis of the chronic and progressive nerve disease occurred after an injury to her dominant hand, which had occurred 2.5 years earlier.

Her CRPS affected her entire right side, from her fingertips to the side of her neck and stomach.

A Life of Constant Pain

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OP was in constant, excruciating pain, which she rated as a 7-10 out of 10. Her normal daily life was incredibly difficult, and she relied heavily on her partner to help her with even the most basic tasks.

She Struggles to Do Basic Things

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OP’s CRPS made it impossible for her to do things that many people take for granted. She couldn’t put on or take off shirts or bras, cut up her own food, write, wash, or put her hair up by herself.

She couldn’t even submerge her hand in water without feeling intense pain. Tasks like preparing dinner, doing the washing up, and vacuuming were impossible due to the vibrations they caused.

Traveling was also incredibly difficult for her, as the vibrations from a car would leave her bedridden for two days with a spew bucket by her side.

It’s No Wonder She Has No Kids

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Given these difficulties, it was no surprise that OP had decided she didn’t want to have children.

She discussed this with her mother, hoping to gain her understanding and support. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned.

Her Mom Wasn’t Understanding

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OP’s mother was insistent that she needed to have a child. She wanted a biological grandchild, and NOP was the only one who could provide it.

OP’s mother had 11 step-grandsons, but she wanted a biological granddaughter. She made it clear that it was now up to her to provide her with one.

An Outrageous Demand

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But OP knew that having a child would be impossible for her. Her CRPS made it impossible for her to care for herself, let alone a child.

Pregnancy would make her condition worse and could cause it to spread, and the birthing process could have catastrophic effects on her reproductive organs.

She knew that having a child would be selfish, as she wouldn’t be able to provide that child with the life they deserved.

She Doesn’t Understand the Consequences

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When OP explained this to her mother, she responded with anger and resistance. Her mother accused her of being selfish and insisted that no reputable doctor would tie her tubes.

She refused to understand OP’s concerns and continued to push her to have a child.

She’s Incredibly Frustrated by the Lack of Support

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One of the things that frustrates OP the most is that her mother has seen her in a full-blown flare-up, crying, shaking, and throwing up because of the pain.

Her fingers lock up, and she has to physically pry them open after a massive pain spike that then causes severe cramping in her hand.

She has to use a walking stick or have her partner half-carry her to a bed while she’s bawling her eyes out because she can’t walk due to how much pain she’s in.

Her mother has seen all of this and still has the audacity to call NB the selfish one.

Her Mom Seems Quite Selfish

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To make matters worse, OP’s mother lived 2.5 hours away and has only stayed with her for two nights in the seven years she has lived in her current town.

OP was always the one who had to travel to see her, and now, with her condition, traveling was becoming increasingly difficult.

She’s Hurt

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OP felt frustrated, upset, and hurt. She loved her mother, but she was close to going no contact.

She felt like her mother didn’t understand her or her condition and was more interested in having a biological grandchild than in supporting her daughter.

It’s Causing Her a Lot of Stress

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Her mother’s constant pressure to have a child is causing her immense distress, and instead of supporting her, she’s adding to her pain.

As much as OP wants to make her mother happy, she can’t bring a child into the world she physically cannot care for.

Living With This Must Be Hard

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She has extreme hypersensitivity (allodynia) in her affected limb and cannot stand having material or anything touch her arm/hand, and she wears a sling most days.

If something touches her hand or brushes her hand, she will be in tears and throwing up because of the pain.

She cannot even hold an empty coffee cup in her hand, let alone a child.

It’s Unimaginable

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It’s frustrating and painful for OP, and it’s hard to imagine what it feels like to be in her shoes. CRPS is an incredibly cruel disease that most healthcare practitioners don’t understand.

A Common Struggle

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Many people with chronic illnesses struggle with family members who put unnecessary pressure on them.

It’s frustrating and hurtful, especially when they don’t take the time to understand the full extent of their loved one’s condition.

Here’s hoping that OP’s days are full of light and laughter and that her mom eases up with the demands.

What do you think? Do you know anyone suffering from CRPS?

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The post She’s Battling a Degenerative Disease That Causes Her 24/7 Debilitating Pain, Yet Her Mom Is Angry at Her for Not Having Kids?! first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / goffkein.pro. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit

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