A Reddit user asked the community if they were being unreasonable for not wanting to take in their brother’s child, even though they wanted to expand their family.
The Original Poster (OP) is a 32-year-old female who has two daughters aged 6 and 3. OP and her husband both possess highly lucrative degrees, which has enabled them to scale back their working hours and prioritize their family life while still maintaining a comfortable standard of living.
She Received Praise for Her Parenting
OP has always dreamed of motherhood, and she takes great pride in being a parent.
She puts in a lot of effort to ensure she is the best mother possible and has received compliments on her parenting skills and her 6-year-old daughter’s independence and responsibility.
Her Brother’s Unexpected Situation
OP has a younger brother who is 20 years old. Around eight months ago, the brother got his girlfriend pregnant.
Despite the fact that the rest of the family, except for OP, are pro-life, the brother convinced the girlfriend to keep the baby.
She Signed Away Her Rights
However, as the girlfriend did not want to raise the child, the brother had her sign away her parental rights and committed to taking care of the baby himself.
The rest of the family congratulated him for making what they saw as the right decision. However, OP advised him to reconsider, although ultimately recognized that it was his choice.
OP Wants a Bigger Family
OP had recently attended a family gathering where the couple had expressed their intention to try for a third child.
However, OP’s younger brother contacted them later and requested to visit and discuss something with them.
They Asked OP to Take the Baby
When he arrived, he was accompanied by their parents, who proposed an idea that they believed would benefit everyone involved.
They suggested that OP take in their brother’s child, presenting it as a favor to OP since they knew they were considering having another child.
They further explained that their brother was pursuing a degree and would be unable to raise the child while studying, making this the best alternative for both parties.
She Needed Some Time to Think
OP told her family members that she needed more time to consider the proposition of taking in their brother’s child.
She told them she felt uneasy about the situation, as raising a child is a significant responsibility that should not be taken lightly.
They Kept Pestering Her
The family members were disappointed with OP’s response. Later, they individually sent OP lengthy messages, urging her to make the right choice and not to refuse love to the child based on selfish motives.
OP felt uncomfortable raising her brother’s child but struggled to articulate her hesitancy in a non-selfish way.
OP acknowledged a preference for having biological children and was concerned about the complex family dynamic that could arise from raising their brother’s child.
It Didn’t Feel Right
They felt that it would be unfair and expressed concerns about perpetuating a family dynamic that had persisted for generations.
Additionally, they felt uneasy about the possibility of receiving praise for “saving a child’s life” without being fully responsible for their upbringing.
She Had Her Husband’s Support
After informing her husband about the situation, OP’s husband was supportive and believed that their family members should respect OP’s reasons for not wanting to take in their brother’s child.
She Still Felt Guilty
Despite this, OP still felt guilty about the decision, as they were capable of providing care for the child. OP was worried about the child’s future if they didn’t step up to the responsibility.
In light of these circumstances, OP questioned whether they were the one to blame.
Reddit Community Weighs In
Many Redditors supported OP, stating that it’s not her responsibility to adopt the child and that the brother should fulfill his responsibilities since he chose to have the child.
Others pointed out that being capable of taking care of the child doesn’t mean that the woman should be obligated to do so.
They Agreed With Her Decision
While, some users expressed frustration with the hypocrisy of being pro-life and expecting others to take responsibility for the child.
Overall, the consensus among Redditors is that the woman is not in the wrong for refusing to adopt her brother’s child.
What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?
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The post She Wants to Have an Another Child, but Her Family Wants Her Take in Her Younger Brother’s Baby first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
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