Coming out can be a transformative and liberating experience, but it can also present significant challenges, particularly when it comes to family relationships.
In a heartfelt Reddit post, a 28-year-old person shares their experience of coming out as Trans and the subsequent fallout with their parents.
They Came Out When They Were 18
The Original Poster (OP) is a 28-year-old who came out as Trans when they were eighteen.
Their Mother Told Them to Keep It a Secret
OP came out to their foster mother, who has been their mother since they were five.
She advised OP to keep it a secret, saying that their younger siblings would be wronged if their brother transitioned into a girl.
She said that OP would lose the family if they did and that they shouldn’t tell their father.
They Accepted
OP accepted and decided to keep it a secret.
They Had a Hard Time
This request to conceal their authentic self-identity had a profound effect on OP’s mental health, leading to depression and a range of associated challenges, including dropping out of college and experiencing periods of homelessness.
OP’s father has frequently become upset with them since he doesn’t know what might be to blame for their depression.
They Couldn’t Take It Any Longer
OP couldn’t take it anymore and decided enough is enough.
They Came Out to Everyone Except Their Family
They decided to come out as transgender to everyone else in their life, except for their family.
They began embracing their authentic self in public, but in the presence of their family, they continued to present as their assigned gender.
OP spends every weekend with their family.
Things Took a Turn
When OP’s in boy clothes, they don’t care about how they appear because those clothes aren’t what they associate themselves with.
Last week, OP’s dad noticed that OP’s clothes weren’t in good condition and said that OP looks like a hobo.
They Came Out to Their Family
As a result, motivated by the desire to be true to themselves, OP wrote a heartfelt WhatsApp message to their parents.
OP wrote about how their mental health has suffered because of this burdensome secret.
They explained that the boy clothes they’ve seen them wear aren’t in the best condition because they’re essentially a cage they have to wear around the family and that they realized they were Trans ten years ago.
Their Father Ignored Them
Their father did not respond to the message. But the following week, their mother sent a message expressing feeling deeply hurt and judged.
Their Mother Was Hurt
Moreover, she expressed her surprise that OP didn’t transition sooner which OP found surprising as she informed them that they can’t transition because it would be cruel to their younger siblings.
She claims that she and OP have lost all mutual trust and that she no longer desires to communicate with them. OP tried to apologize, but she quickly ignored their messages and OP’s father still didn’t respond at all.
He Didn’t Even Reply to Their Easter Message
Since OP’s mother is done with them, OP couldn’t call out for Easter, so they sent their father a happy Easter message instead, but he didn’t respond to it either.
Readers Supported Them
OP is now worried about losing their family and they took to Reddit to ask if they were wrong for what they did. Several Redditors expressed their support for OP saying they were not wrong and that they deserve to be who they are.
So what do you think? What would you have done if you were in this situation?
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The post They Came Out as Trans to Their Mom, and She Asked Them to Keep It Secret. After 10 Years They Couldn’t Carry the Burden Any Longer first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / SB Arts Media. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit