Meet Rebel, a woman who embarked on a weight loss journey that would change her life. But she recently came under fire from a close friend, who accused her of being fatphobic. Let’s find out if her friend’s words hold any weight.
About two years ago, Rebel met her close friend, Anna. They shared more than just friendship; they shared the same height, weight, and a common goal – to support each other in their weight loss efforts. They became what they liked to call “accountabillibuddies.”
Bonding Over Shared Goals
Rebel and Anna quickly bonded over their shared mission to shed those extra pounds. They had similar interests and seemed to be on the same page. Their friendship grew stronger as they faced the challenges of the weight loss journey together.
Success and Struggles
As time passed, Rebel’s efforts paid off, and she successfully lost a crazy 150 pounds, reaching her desired goal weight. Unfortunately, Anna did not experience the same success.
While Rebel progressed on her journey, Anna struggled to shed the pounds and sometimes even gained weight. This began to strain their friendship.
The Cracks Begin to Show
As Rebel’s weight loss journey continued, Anna’s attitude grew more passive-aggressive. She made snide remarks, which created tension in their friendship.
Rebel, who genuinely cared about Anna’s well-being, stopped sharing her progress and focused on supporting her friend. She didn’t want Anna to lose hope or give up, but it seemed like Anna’s lack of accountability was getting in the way.
The Impact of Anna’s Snide Remarks
Their friendship, once so close, began to fade. There were multiple reasons for this, but Rebel felt Anna’s passive-aggressive behavior was one of the more significant factors. Anna’s snide remarks and her reluctance to take responsibility for her actions further distanced them.
But what strained the friendship even more was Anna’s habit of blaming everything on “fatphobia.” No matter the situation, Anna’s default explanation was to blame her problems on weight discrimination.
She blamed her lack of promotion on her boss’s supposed fatphobia. A disappointing second date? According to Anna, the guy was fatphobic. If someone simply disagreed with her, they, too, fell under the “fatphobic” label.
The breaking point came when Anna accused Rebel of being “fatphobic” because of her successful weight loss!
Rebel’s Breaking Point
Rebel couldn’t tolerate this any longer. She lost her temper and confronted Anna. Rebel reminded her that the world isn’t conspiring against her and that while this world does focus on appearances too much, she couldn’t throw around accusations every time things didn’t go her way.
Encouraging Personal Responsibility
Rebel told Anna that she needed to take responsibility for her own happiness – that if her weight was making her unhappy, she should step up and do something about it.
She pointed out that many overweight people achieved their goals without losing weight and that Anna needed to acknowledge her own shortcomings and work on improving herself.
She also made it clear that she had no interest in continuing the friendship if all Anna would do was be passive-aggressive and resentful.
Predictably, Anna’s response was to, once again, label Rebel as “fatphobic.” She abruptly hung up, and that was the last time they spoke!
Was She at Fault?
This left Rebel feeling confused. Was she in the wrong? Had she said the wrong thing? She was coming from the same place that Anna had been in, just with a more positive outlook. She had to ask Reddit what they thought.
“Fatphobia” as a Crutch
Hundreds of Redditors chimed in on this matter, sharing their thoughts and experiences, highlighting the fine line between addressing legitimate issues like “fatphobia” and using it as a crutch.
The consensus was that Anna seemed to have become her own worst enemy.
A Perpetual Victim
Anna’s tendency to attribute everything to “fatphobia” was a point of concern. One Redditor pointed out, “She actively keeps herself from achieving her goals by blaming everything on one external factor, i.e., “fatphobia.”
Another echoed this perspective: “She’s a perpetual victim, and nothing you say will solve it or penetrate her brain to accept it.”
The Challenge of Breaking the Cycle
Some believed that Anna needed to be challenged, like one who said, “NTA. People who push the “fatphobic” stuff are the worst. She’s not the only person who is ridiculous in that way.”
Others felt that Anna might be using it as a shield, with one Redditor observing, “She attributes everything to obesity; she is “fatphobia.”
Empathy vs. Accountability
However, one person took a more empathetic approach, saying, “She probably is using it to soften the blow of rejection and try to help soothe her inner critic.”
The Shortcut to Blame
Redditors thought Rebel’s frustration was understandable, with one commenting, “Sounds like she took the shortcut and blames everyone for being “fatphobic” instead of realizing that she may be the problem.”
Addressing “Fatphobia” Overuse
While some Redditors believed it was essential to have uncomfortable conversations to address these issues, as one pointed out, “Fatphobia is definitely a thing, but your friend is indulging in its overuse,” others emphasized the significance of personal accountability, with one stating, “Accountability is the most important attribute to bettering yourself.”
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