Spousal Disagreement Over Abortion: Addressing the Decision-Making Process

A stressed out husband fired up Redditors when he asked his wife to have an abortion. Instead, she wanted to break their long-standing contract. Here is the full story.

They Don’t Want Kids

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OP and his wife are both in their mid-30s and have been married for 9 years. They don’t have any children, and that’s by design.

They Decided Long Ago

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They discussed children several times before they got married, and OP and his wife both agreed they never wanted to be parents.

She Would Have an Abortion

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OP’s wife was so certain about that, she told him she would have an abortion if they ever had an “accident” and she ended up pregnant.

She Had a Surprise

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But then one day out of the blue, OP’s wife told him that she was pregnant. Not only that, but she’d had a change of heart.

She Was Going All the Way

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Now that she actually knew she was pregnant, OP’s wife wanted to carry the baby to term. Then she would put it up for adoption.

She Would Stay Close

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Another wrinkle was that the local agencies insisted on an open adoption. That meant OP’s wife would always have a relationship with the baby she gave birth to.

That Wasn’t Their Deal

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That was not part of OP’s life plan, and it had never been part of his wife’s, either. OP couldn’t understand why she had suddenly changed her mind, and he wanted to get her back on track.

He Wanted Her to Play Fair

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So OP reminded his wife about the agreement they made before they got married. He asked his wife if she had considered having an abortion.

She Was Already Attached

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OP’s wife said that abortion was her first thought, too. But then she realized she had already formed a bond with the fetus she was carrying.

It Was a Red Flag

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That was another red flag for OP, and he wondered if his wife would use that bond to justify not giving up the baby at all once it was born.

His Childhood Was Rough

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OP also reminded his wife that part of his objection to having children was that he was adopted. His family life was not very good, so he wasn’t comfortable putting a child up for adoption, either.

He Could Be a Time Bomb

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And OP had also had trouble tracking down his biological family to try and find out about their medical history. He feels like becoming a father would doom the child to potential unknown medical issues.

She Understood but Wouldn’t Change

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OP’s wife agreed that she already knew all this, and that his reasons were still valid to her. But that didn’t change her feelings.

She Wanted to Keep the Baby

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And then OP’s wife dropped another bombshell – she really wanted to keep the baby as her own, but she knew he wouldn’t go for that.

She Was Sacrificing

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So as far as OP’s wife was concerned, adoption was the compromise she was willing to make.

He Forced Her Hand

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Feeling trapped and unhappy with the developing situation, OP cut right to the chase. He bluntly asked his wife to have an abortion.

She Couldn’t Stay

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OP’s wife started crying when she heard his response and left the house. She ended up spending the night at her sister’s house and wouldn’t answer his calls or texts.

It Was His Fault

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OP felt terrible for putting his wife in a bad position and thinks maybe he was insensitive in the moment. He also takes blame for not getting a vasectomy earlier in their marriage

She Rocked His World

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But OP also really doesn’t want to be a father, and his wife’s change of heart is rocking everything he thought he knew about his marriage.

The post Spousal Disagreement Over Abortion: Addressing the Decision-Making Process first appeared on Fistful of Dollars.

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Goksi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

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